What if we’re running the wrong race?

Humans, we need to stop pushing through.

Stop sticking to the plan, just for the plan’s sake.

Stop packing our schedules to the point where we never have time to pause and tune in.

Stop bull-dozing each other (and the planet) to push our agenda forward without considering the impact on the other.


I had a call scheduled today to record a podcast with a fellow woman in Wales, Angela Durrant, and found myself with a 5 minute gap between drafting a webpage for Your True You Journey, and hopping on Zoom.

In the past I would’ve used those 5 minutes to answer some unopened emails, scarf down lunch, or even try to quickly edit and publish the webpage just so I could say it was DONE.

Today I chose different.

I chose to use that space to ‘do nothing’.

Nothing that consisted of moving my body to music. A moving meditation that helps me slow down my mind, feel my whole self through my body, and connect to my soul.

You can witness this here.

Sure this feels good in my body, but more importantly than that, it helps me connect to my true self as best I can so that when I show up to be with Angela (or any other humans… like the 4 unplanned and left-field phone calls I got after that) I can bring the real me.

Not the me that is worried I might say the wrong thing, tries to stick to the script, or is too ashamed to share my truth in the moment.

I can’t remember exactly what Angela and I said in our conversation, but I do remember feeling the numerous hair-raising chills across my body as we connected with each other’s stories and talked about what it’s like to actually let go.

Let go people. Let go.

One of the hardest, yet essential, and most liberating things we can do as we navigate back home to ourselves.

Yes, there is safety in what we know and do well. The desire to replicate our past successes. Even to repeat the same failures (because at least they feels familiar.)

And yet perhaps it’s time to follow that nudge that is whispering, “Hey, over here. There’s something waiting for you that I want you to see.

The hard part is that you don’t know what you’re going to find. Half the time you don’t know what you’re being shown until you’re knee-deep in it.

Which means you have to let go of what you currently know, what you’re so expertly holding on to, and take a risk. Step into the unknown.

Just like an unscripted impromptu dance. You don’t know where the music is going to take you, but you do know that dropping your head and getting on to your knees is the first step.

EMBODY has been a practice of mine for the past year. It’s helped me feel in my body what I know in my head.

Today, going into the conversation with Angela I knew I wanted to let go of any preconceived notions or assumptions about what we might be talking about. I wanted to be free of bringing my own agenda in to the conversation. I wanted to be able to listen and be present.

How to put that into action? Through your body first.

Everytime I teach an EMBODY class or do my own practice, guess what? Of COURSE I have a preconceived notion and assumption, even a desired outcome, for how I want it to play out (human!).

And of course, once the movement starts, something else takes over. I am no longer manufacturing the dance, the finished product.

And… of course… it is more beautiful, more radiant, more fulfilling, more perfectly imperfect that I could have planned.

That could be our lives people!

Imagine. The ease, the softness, the fluidity when you step into the flow, get in synch with the rhythm, and let yourself be carried.

“But what about real-life Kendra?”, you ask.

I get it. You need to put food on the table, a roof over your head, you’ve always been the primary breadwinner, you have debt piling up and you can’t see a way of ever paying it all off.

Me too.

Look, I get it. I have all those things on my list of worries too.

I am not writing this to you from high-up on a spiritual mountain top where I have sorted out all my problems.

I’m walking this with you.

I also know that as soon as I try to force something, it doesn’t work. And the harder I try to make it work, the more I perpetuate disorder in my life.

And, somehow, in ways I can’t explain (and am starting to give up trying to), as soon as I surrender, slowly, ever so slowly, things start to shift towards something that resembles a shape that feels slightly familiar.

A shape that looks and feels more ME.

So let’s stop trying to contort ourselves into someone else’s version of life.

Stop following along with someone else’s rules, just because that’s what we think should happen.

So much of our western culture is shaped by the idea that we need to get to the finish line faster and with more toys than the person next to us.

Never are we asked to question that, perhaps, we’re running the wrong race.

Or that maybe it doesn’t even have to be a race.

Slow down. Give yourself the time and space to listen to the rhythm of your own drum. Where is it taking you? What is it calling you towards?

Yes, you might end up on your knees, or flat out on your back.

Just remember, so long as you’re still breathing you are still dancing.

Keep listening. Get up when you’re ready. You will rise. This time lifted and carried by a strength that does not ask you to sprint, let alone run. But to dance.

Join in the dance.


Not sure how to start? Get in touch. I’d love to talk this through with you.

Want to experience EMBODY dance classes and sensual movement for yourself? More info here.

Need some help letting go? Get your copy of Your True You Journey or join the next group in Wales starting September 30th.

2 thoughts on “What if we’re running the wrong race?

  1. meximinnesotana says:

    I love this, Kendra. It reminds me of the journey I have been on over the past couple of years as well, learning to embody my full self rather than being “in my head” all the time. I think these ideas are not very well-reinforced and indeed our culture rewards a sort of “out of body” striving and racing without asking why or where we are going, whether we need to be running at that pace all the time. Thanks for writing about your experience with this, I hope more of us can see the value of giving ourselves this space for being that is so vital.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kendra Tanner says:

      Thanks for your words and sharing your journey. It’s a slow awakening and remembering isn’t it? Lots to explore in the space of not striving and pushing through. Like learning to walk again!

      Liked by 1 person

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