If we’ve ever had a conversation about the EMBODY dance class I teach, you may have heard me say something like this…
“EMBODY is so awesome because in class you feel what it’s like to be (confident, playful, in your power, feminine, sexy, your authentic self, etc) in your body, which means when you leave class, your body remembers that feeling forever. So when you go through life, and you notice when you’re NOT feeling like that, your body can navigate you back to a place of (confident, playful, in your power, feminine, sexy, your authentic self, etc).”
That AND your body starts to navigate there on it’s own, as if on auto-pilot.
I know this in my head, and because last Friday’s EMBODY class did it for me again.
I showed up to class frustrated (PC for pissed off and throwing fire darts with my eyes) that I still have to do admin work for the business that me and my husband set up 5 years ago. I’ve wanted out for awhile, even more so since we informally closed it last June. It’s taking a good 4-5 months longer than I wanted to tie up formalities with the new business partner so I can transition out.
That afternoon I spent 3 hours doing work I didn’t want to do, knowing I wasn’t getting paid for it, and the resentment was building.
I had a quick chat to my husband before EMBODY, trying not to dump it all on him because I promised him and myself that I wouldn’t complain anymore. I asked for some help in finding the Love (because I sure as hell couldn’t see any with those fire darts clouding my view).
Rationally, I knew there is little within our control to change the situation, and I know the long-term pay-off will be much more than any hourly rate I would receive now, yet ‘suck-it-up’ still didn’t feel good.
At EMBODY we danced through a bumping remix of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Smoke Weed Everyday’, which might sound questionable to you. ‘Why are you advocating narcotics, and a lifestyle where numbing out replaces connecting to what you are really feeling?”
I get it; I went there too at first.
Except the track spoke to me in another way.
Instead of permission to give into my weaknesses, it was an invitation to face-up to them.
To acknowledge I have a shadow-side, a darkness, that I’m not proud of.
Including times when a low self-esteem has undervalued my worth, didn’t ask for what I needed (including payment for work), and hasn’t honored my own boundaries.
Instead of denying it, ignoring it, or resisting it, or trying to fix it…. the invitation was to dance with it.
So I did.
By the time I was driving back home, it hit me… the frustration and anger I had toward my husband and the business, was really the frustration and anger I harbor toward myself.
The blame I’ve been throwing (in the form of fire darts) because this ‘big bad business’ is stopping me from pursuing my dreams, is really my shame that keeps me prioritizing the work I deep down know I need to be doing.
Finally… clarity. Spaciousness. Peace.
With this weight lifted I could own my stuff and find more Love… for the business, my husband… and my self.
Which looked like a genuine apology, and a more aligned use of my time since then.
Guys, this is why I dance. Yes I’m a little crazy, and part of me is making up for all the parties I missed as a kid, but seriously… this EMBODY stuff works.
When you give permission for your body to move how it needs to, your body is connecting to your truth.
When you connect to your truth, you make room for Love.
Truth sets you Free, and Love never Fails.
See you on the dance floor people.
I am one of 16 EMBODY dance class facilitators scattered across the US and the UK. Find a class near you and give it a try. You never know where your body and your dance will take you.
PS I’m going on an EMBODY road-trip this Spring from Swansea to NYC, Nashville, Boulder, and Boise. In the area? I’d love to meet you at a workshop! Make sure you connect in with my newsletter (below) and on Instagram @kendra.tanner to get the deets.