I’ve spent a lot of time in my life doing what I thought would make other people happy, whether it was my parents or friends or teachers or church leaders or bosses. At the time it didn’t necessarily feel good for me, but I also didn’t have another way to express, “No, I don’t want to do this.”, or ask for what I did want.
I want to share with you a tool and practice that has helped me get so much more clear on who I am, what I want, and how to express that in relationship with other people. Especially when you care about the other person and you don’t want to piss them off.
If you haven’t already read, Sometimes No Feels Like Sh*t, you might want to read that first, and then listen to the following audio for a practice you can start to do to get clear on, and embody, your Yes.
- Start to notice when something catches your eye.
- Let your gaze linger on the detail (aka stare at it).
- Let yourself be mesmerized by what you are looking at.
- Notice where you feel that mesmerization in your body. You might want to close your eyes and really drink in the sensation. See if you can find a place of calm in your body.
- Breathe any sensations of calm into your body a little further (that might sound weird, so in other words, allow the goodness, the place of calm to sink further into your body. Start with your heart. Allow your breathe and any sensations of calm to move into your chest area.
- Then see if you can allow any sensations of beauty and calm to drop down a little bit further in your body to just below your navel.
- Then seeing if you can have any sensations of beauty and calm drop down even a little bit further into the space between your hips. Maybe place your hand on your hip bones and feel the strength of your bones and allow the space between to feel the beauty and calm.
- Give yourself a few moments to breathe into what feels good. Perhaps even repeating the word Yes. Yes, I’m allowed this. Yes, I can linger here. Yes, I can receive more of this.
This is a practice of giving yourself permission for what you are pulled towards, called to, and attracted towards in life. Practice this throughout your day. Notice where you might feel a little nudge, where you might feel drawn towards something, and allow yourself to linger there. Allow for that sensation to grow and really receive it into your body so that you are becoming clear on what you want.
Let yourself embody your Yes. Yes, this is what feels good! Yes, this is what I want more of in my life!
This is what will help guide you with your No.