The following process helps you come back to center when you are feeling anxious, stressed, frustrated, angry, can’t make a decision, overwhelmed, or just generally wound up. You can journal or meditate on the following.
Step 1: Reflect on the situation that is causing the distress.
1. Name how you are feeling (the emotion).
2. Notice any related sensations in your body.
(eg I am feeling nervous about the email I need to send. My thoughts are distracted, I have a headache, and a pit in my stomach.)
Step 2: Notice the pressure points.
- My Desired Outcome for that situation is….
- I’m Expecting, Assuming, and Anticipating that in order to get that outcome, xyz needs to happen.
(eg I want them to say yes to my offer and it’s all riding on me getting the wording just right.)
Step 3: Start naming your Shadow.
- My self-doubt and inner critic is tell me that I’m…. I’m also judging everyone else, thinking that….
- Deep down, I’m really afraid that….
(eg I always say the wrong thing. I don’t have a knack for words. Everyone else is so much more articulate than me. Deep down I don’t think I can handle any more rejection.)
Take a moment to breathe, and show some loving kindness to your shadowy fears.
Step 4: Notice your instincts.
1. Where might you might be Trying extra hard to make something work
2. Where might you be pulling away and Hiding to protect yourself or others?
(eg I’m trying really hard to sound like so-and-so. I’m avoiding sending the email so I don’t have to face the aftermath.)
Now thank yourself for it’s natural animal instincts, and with gratitude let your self know that You’ve got this.
Step 5: What’s Doable?
- Check-in with your True Self: What is actually True right now?
- Based on that Truth, what is one doable Next Right Move?
(eg I express myself better over the phone. I can call the person instead of sending an email. I will feel more confident in an actual conversation. I’ll be more myself if the call is planned, not spontaneous. Next Right Move: bullet point key points to get across and then email to arrange for a good time to call.)
Step 6: Expand the Ground
1. What emotion is present now?
2. What sensations can you connect with in your body?
3. Let yourself feel those emotions and sensations for 30-60 seconds, letting them spread and grow within you.
(eg I’m feeling hopeful and excited to talk with them. My heart is warmer and feels like it’s opening. My stomach feels relaxed.)