It’s June 2007.
I’m cycling to work, meandering my through the back streets of London bordered with green grass, trees, and sky, Still wearing the suit, but at least in a city that sleeps at night. Finally space. To feel. To listen. The change of city felt good, but the job still wasn’t quite right. That was clear, but what else could I do?
It’s now June 2013.
I’m knee deep in a rice paddy in the northern mountains of Vietnam, trying my hand at teaching English and keeping a blog of backpacking adventures. Life is starting to make sense as the crickets sing me to sleep, and there’s only enough money in the bank to get us through until next month.
This adventure is temporary; a pit stop as I figure out what to do next. The list of options feels narrow; only a handful of hats I’m actually brave enough to wear. Even fewer that pay the bills. Writing a book, DJing my favorite music, making and selling wholesome food… fairytales for another life. I need the sure-shot. Something predictable. Quick and easy. I know, I’ll start coaching.
It’s June 2006.
I’m in mid-town Manhattan, bored, restless, searching for the skyscraper hosting the conference I’m supposed to attend, wishing I was back on the beach of Positano, enjoying a Caprese sandwich for lunch, barefoot in the sand, waves lapping the shore. The suit, stifling in the early summer heat, just as claustrophobic as the cubicle and its fluorescent light. I knew something had to give.
Wow, was I in for it.
You want the sure-shot? Try a pint of Bitter that tastes like failure first. Quick? Just wait until you fall in love with Slow. Certain? We’re going to dance the night away in the light of not-knowing.
It’s 2016. I’m living and coaching in Wales. A client has just come out about the abuse she experienced. I am in over my head. Thankfully I tune in to an interview between Nadia Munla and Rachael Maddox and learn about somatic-based trauma resolution for the first time. A moment that changed my life for the better.
The scales fall from my eyes. What if the disordered relationship with food and body that I was helping clients with was really just a symptom of trauma?
What if they had all experienced a physical, emotional, or spiritual violation? What if I had too?
What if the challenges I was experiencing in ‘making it’ in the entrepreneurial arena were a remnant of the unseen and unresolved trauma that had played out with my body decades ago?
What if the window to heal it lay in the place it all started? My body.
The rest of the story has been a process of unlearning the tricks that kept me churning for my self-worth in ways that weren’t aligned with me. And so now the book, the DJing… the dreams are happening.
You have your own story.
Your own dreams, your own plans, that may or may not be panning out the way you expected. Perhaps pushing through in order to get to where you want to be, fighting an internal tug-of-war that takes you further away from who you were created to be.
Whatever chapter you are living, my hope for you is to slow down, listen. Maybe it’s time to try something different. Maybe it’s time to surrender and make peace. With your body. With your life.
Teachers, Mentors & Guides
I’m here thanks to the following:
- Jacob Sokol and his 2014 Coaching Mastermind
- Tanya Syed. Countless Somatic Experiencing sessions and her Intro to Trauma Resolution Basics, 2017-2019
- Nadia Munla. Her Mentorship program in 2019 & 2020 and Embody facilitator certification in 2017
- Rachael Maddox and her ReBloom trauma resolution certification program, 2020-ongoing