Skip to content

Kendra Tanner

Hello
Coaching
Embody Dance Class
- EMBODY: Reclaim your Pleasure, Power, and Play
- FREE: EMBODY-at-Home
Let’s Talk
What Others Say

Tag: control-freak

What stressed-out and burned-out has to do with safety, money, and embodying your feminine

March 12, 2019Leave a comment

A fresh way at understanding why you might be burning yourself out, plus 10 ways you can cultivate safety and trust with do-it-yourself embodiment practices.

Search

Search for:

Follow Kendra Tanner on WordPress.com

What’s Happening

Coaching
Embody Dance Class
EMBODY: Reclaim your Pleasure, Power, and Play

Instagram

What have you been told about your anger, emotionality and needs? Perhaps the story goes like this… -Rein it in and dial it down. Don’t disturb the peace. -Stop it. Tantrums are bad and not allowed. -Don’t upset anybody. -Don’t ask for too much; needy is greedy. -Don’t agitate others; you might get hurt. If this is Chapter 1, Chapter 2 goes like this: You end up giving up your voice and choice. This is the story of countless women I’ve coached and danced with who have learned to stuff (and sometimes eat) their emotions, stay in the shadows, and turn down the volume of their life. Whether the above messages were said directly, or are buried in your subconscious, it makes it hard to say No, even when Yes doesn’t feel good. It’s hard to find our voice for the No because ruffling feathers was not an option. A disembodied No becomes part of our identity. Remember, what feels good is a compass towards wholeness and Love (see Wednesday’s post). Both a Yes and No can feel good... -When they embody your truth and express it with compassionate Love towards yourself and the other. -When you can detach from the outcome because your decision is no longer a means of getting something from the other. May I take this opportunity to remind you that your unique Yes and No is needed in this world. The injustices that break your heart may not break mine. The possibilities for life that light a fire under my ass may not do it for you. Our individual voice is necessary and important for the world to heal. We are each a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, and when we start adapting ourselves to fit into someone else’s shape, we leave a gaping hole in the picture. Filling that hole, reclaiming your voice, taking up your rightful space, starts with connecting to that raw emotion. Your anger, fears, hurts, and joys act as signpost to your Yes and No. Your Yes and No leads you home. Find your way home with me at an upcoming EMBODY workshop. Boulder March 31st Boise April 13th Nashville April 26th NYC April 28th Early-bird tix through this weekend. Deets in bio.

Anyone else spent needless energy deliberating whether or not to buy the ring, the bag, the shoes, the coaching, the workshop, the Masters etc? The guilt shows up... “I shouldn’t really...” But something inside you has been touched. Shaken and Stirred. Your higher self knows not to ignore the nudge. It’s the ego self that gets stuck in all the practicalities. In the spirit of reclaiming my and our pleasure, guilt-free, I bought the ring. Did I ‘need’ it? No. Was it the one ring out of the 100s if not 1000s in the store that caught my eye? Yes. This ring carries a message for those of us who are so good at denying ourselves the beauty, abundance, and Love that Life has to offer. In creating a new MO that says Yes to pleasure and Yes to life (more on this in yesterday’s post...) what really happens is a balancing act of Surrender, Trust, and Receive. Surrender the old story that says, I can’t have it because I didn’t earn it, I’m not worth it. Trust the Provision that has shown up every time in the past will continue to come through in the future. Receive the blessing and gift of the present moment. Which today looked like a £12 piece of costume jewelry that just happens to capture the colors that have been showing up in my meditations recently. A real-life version of the purple, black, shimmery rock that serves as a reminder that I’m supported by and connected to an Infinite amount of wisdom and strength. So I said Yes. Not just to the ring, but to receiving my desires. In saying Yes I am saying No to resisting, rejecting, and coming up with a million and one reasons why this (ring, career, client, relationship, experience, fill in the blank with your own soul’s desire) is not for me. Yes to what feels good (within the balance of nourish and pleasure) and Trust that doing so, leads me to more me, more divine Love. What pleasure will you say Yes to today?

What have you been told about your sensuality, desires, pleasure, & arousal? Multiple convos with women this week confirmed that most of us walk around with the following hanging over our heads: -It’s morally wrong, sinful, or sacrilege. -It’s dangerous and will get you into trouble. -Watch out! You might indulge, go overboard. -The body isn’t to be trusted because it might lead you astray Sound familiar? So what do we do with this collective fear of our bodies feeling good? Control…. Our bodies, our lives, each other. Control is what we do when there is a possibility of facing something unknown and unfamiliar. In your body it might show up as constriction. But what if the thing we’re trying to control is the very thing that leads us to something we all intuitively know and long for… complete union with divine Love. I’ve been savouring Richard Rohr’s new book, ‘The Universal Christ’, and want to share a liberating perspective that gives permission to let go of the reins. “Spiritual satisfactions will often be communicated to us in material, embodied, and ecstatic forms. Embodiment is good and necessary, so don’t dismiss it to quickly as ‘the flesh’.” My translation: Permission for ecstasy because your physical ecstasy leads you to spiritual ecstasy... the fulfilling, familiar experience of complete union with divine Love. In your body this might show up as warm expansive feel-good. We don’t need to be afraid of this. Sure, watch out for the shadow side; for the times when the thing that brings you pleasure becomes your God instead of just allowing your pleasure to lead you to God. But vilifying the gift of your body and its capacity to feel good is vilifying the source of that gift. Resisting and rejecting that gift has gotten us nowhere other than resisting and rejecting the gift bearer and its creations; including ourselves & each other. Perhaps it’s time we create a new story. A sovereign embodiment of a connected and sensual experience of life. Join me. Reclaim your pleasure at an upcoming EMBODY workshop. Boulder March 31 Boise April 13 Nashville April 26 NYC April 28 Early-bird tix thru this weekend. Deets in bio. 🎶 Moby: I Like It

A beautiful time with some beautiful souls. . Permission for beauty, taking up space, slowing down, skipping, and sliding across the dance floor. . Breaking old habits, releasing old stories. . Remembering who you are. . EMBODY the extended version has left its mark in Swansea. . Next stop, Boulder. March 31st. . Back in Swansea May 17th. . See links in bio to join the revolution.

When I first came across ‘the feminine’ and the ‘divine feminine’, I had a lot of resistance. Me, a woman, a female, that in theory would/’should’ eat up anything that helps me understand, connect to, love, and express the core of who I am. You would think my femininity would be at the top of the list. But I couldn’t go there. It challenged everything I knew to be true. That God was a He, that woman was a temptress, that I was better off ‘fixing’ myself and keep right by God and He, than open up a can of worms that might lead me further astray. Not that I had a clear vision of what I was fixing myself into. I wanted to be whole and had an assumption that whole looked like: -never having a bad day -always being nice; never getting angry -sustaining high levels of productivity -having my shit together at all times A version of ‘whole’ that includes softness, the sensual, emotionality, raw beauty, slowing down, receiving, and life unfolding from a deep well of wisdom that can willingly let go of achieving specific outcomes? That felt edgy. While part of me was intrigued and wanted to move closer, another part of me didn’t feel I could. It didn’t feel safe. It didn’t feel safe because it challenged the understanding of who I am, what God is, how the world works. That’s what happens when you find yourself smack in the middle of a paradigm shift. You crave the possibility of what the new offers, but aren’t sure it’s the right time to actually take the step to venture forward. While your current reality may not be all that you hoped for, at least it’s familiar. If you’re a woman and you’re not sure ‘the feminine’ is for you, that’s OK. I’ve been there. It’s also OK to tiptoe. Unlike how you might be used to operating, you don’t have to go balls to the wall or plow through while holding your breath. Take one step and just see. Let the next step unfold for you in its perfect timing. There’s no plan to execute here. Just stay open to what comes your way. The tiptoe itself is revolutionary, and keeps yourself safe in the process. ----- Read the latest blog post on links between safety, the feminine, and our current ways of being in at kendra-tanner.com.

When your collection of rocks become prayer tools. . These are placeholders for all the women I hope to dance with over the next two months in Swansea, Boulder, Boise, Nashville and NYC at an EMBODY event. . May you be free to shine like a diamond without worries or cares. May you receive the birthright of your beauty and worth. May you feel the Love of your creator ripple through every fiber of your being. . Sending you light, love, and gratitude dear ones. ——— Early-bird tix are available now. Info in bio.

Recent Posts

What stressed-out and burned-out has to do with safety, money, and embodying your feminine
How your body is the best healing tool you have
How my new year’s day run was a revolutionary act of Fun
A dedication to your 5 year-old Self
Bumping up against pain and shame

Categories

Archetypes
Conversations with my Self
Creative
Embodiment
Life
Trusting your Self
Your True Self

Contact us

Cross Hands, Carmarthenshire, Wales, SA14 6SB

What’s Happening

Coaching
Embody Dance Class
EMBODY: Reclaim your Pleasure, Power, and Play

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Flickr
Instagram

Blog at WordPress.com.