A Note to You

kendra tanner

Dear One,

I’ve been on a journey of finding myself my whole adult life. It started one Saturday afternoon 16 years ago on the bathroom floor of my NYC apartment. I had just finished a binge and purge, my body exhausted and my soul empty. I knew that if I didn’t pick myself up in a new direction, my life would forever be a living hell.

Surprisingly the new direction was less painful than the life I was living. It was filled with things I loved to do; things that were more ‘me’.

After moving to London, leaving my corporate job, back-packing for 9 months, and venturing into a new dual-career of wellness coaching and fish farming, I thought I had found ‘me’. I was playing by my rules, loving my body, and the creative juices were flowing.

But this high was short-lived. While I had left the confines of an office dress code, city living, and trying to force my body into skinny jeans, my safety, security, and sense of self was still tied up in how well I was performing.

I was spinning my wheels, jumping from one new opportunity to the next, hoping this one would be ‘the thing’. I was burning myself out along the way without even knowing it, because an overwhelming amount of action is what I was always used to.

So I hear you when you say you’re tired, exhausted, and can’t continue on like this anymore.

Neither could I.

Thankfully, I started dancing.

Not that I had ever taken a dance lesson in my life. I didn’t and still don’t, identify as a ‘dancer’, and yet moving my body freely to music is a sure-fire way to remember who I am (especially if it’s house music).

In 2017 I trained as an EMBODY dance teacher, and it was the medicine I was missing. While my head knew all the right answers to ace a personal or spiritual growth test, my body had been left behind and was still operating in hyper-vigilance mode.

I needed a way to regulate my nervous system, feel the way I wanted to feel, express all that I couldn’t find words to say, and connect to the label-free core of who I am.

Dance, Somatic Experiencing, and broader embodiment practices have taken me on a journey of deepening my sense of myself and connection to my Self (which sometimes I call God, Love, the Divine, the Great Mystery, and the ‘Thing I Can’t Explain’. You might call it your Higher Self, Consciousness, Life Force, or some other cool name.)

It wasn’t until my cultural conditioning that prioritized goal-oriented mind achievements (like going to the best school and working for the best company), and deprived sensual feel-good bodily experiences (ie fat = bad, and sex = wrong) failed me, that I started to listen.

It took another good year before I started to trust it… the part of me that speaks softly and stands firmly with a twinkle in her eye. She sees what needs to be done, and she sways her hips and sings to herself as she effortlessly goes about her business.

No fanfare, no drama, no trauma.

Just spacious and sacred.

The feminine wisdom.

This wisdom is a shared one, and lives in you too. Whether you are in a female or male body, She is there to guide you.

I am honoured that my work supports those who are ready to listen and trust this part of themselves too. I trust it will guide us all back home.

I hope what you find here on this site encourages you to listen to your own quite voice, dance when you need to, and trust the unfolding of the process, wherever it takes you.

 With Love,